It is so sad to say that these toxic people can be your own family members.
Many of you might relate to what I’m going to say next which is, there is a lot of family intrusion in your personal life in the name of love and care. You are often deprived of your basic need which is making your own decisions.
You may not believe it, I have a friend who has to ask his father about which Covid-19 vaccine he must get, Can you imagine? He doesn’t even have the authority of choosing the vaccine. When asked, He says that’s how it is in their house.
Do you face that kind of intrusion in your life? If yes, we are here to help. Here are 5 ways how you can deal with these kinds of toxic people. This study shows that how intelligent people deal with toxic people.
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Who are Toxic people and What is toxicity?
First, What is toxicity? Refusing to see things from the other person’s point of view. Trying to be the one in control every single time, not having a forgiving nature, getting offended on simple things, can be termed as Toxicity or being toxic.
Toxicity, at some times, comes from your own thoughts, not from the other person. If you are trying to control them and they are not living up to your expectation. You need to ask yourself that is it possible that I’m being toxic?
If that’s not the case and it is vice-versa, then you need to think of ways to get rid of either the problem or the person. No compromise on mental health.
Here are 5 ways to avoid them:
1. Learn to tolerate these people at first:
It is the same damn advice that everyone will give you: To tolerate. But here I’ll say there must be a limit to this tolerance. Excess of anything is bad for your mental as well as physical health.
If we are actually talking about toxic people in your family, you must have a lot of tolerance. After all, they are your family. But, if that’s not the case then there is a limit to everything.
For example, You have a friend who is being toxic to you, and cutting them off is not that easy. Then you should talk to them seriously.
If they consider you as a friend they will understand, but if they get offended, then they are not to be kept.
2. What If tolerance is not an option?
Toxic people can be intolerable sometimes, What if you can’t do it anymore? What if it is exceeding your limits? What should you do then? Then, it is time to face them with kindness at first.
You must tell them what is wrong with them and their behavior towards you. Now pay close attention to how they react. Their reaction would help you a lot about whether to keep them or not.
What matters most is your mental health, if someone is not living up to that, then it is their problem, not yours. You don’t have to compromise on your own well-being just to keep them happy, sounds alright?
3. Start Igonoring them:
Now comes the powerful part, Start to ignore them as much as possible. It is a known fact that when you start ignoring them, It is highly likely that they will adjust for you, they may change their behavior towards you.
Talking with my own experience, Ignorance is a strong weapon to increase your importance. It is an easy way of finding out your worth in their lives, if the toxicity still persists, then it is time to apply the last option.
4. Consider cutting them off politely:
Finally, comes the hardest part. I know it is not that easy to cut off someone who has been around you for a long time. But, still, you have to choose between your happiness and their happiness. If you are smart enough, You will choose yourself over anyone in your life.
You should confront them with the ground reality that things are not working between you and them, so it’s either they change their behavior or it can no longer go on. Try to keep it as polite as possible.
Now, the ball is in their court. Now it is time for them to decide whether to keep you or lose you. Both of the choices will work in your favor, either you’ll have a good partner or a good life, or both.
As a saying goes:
Some of the most toxic people come disguised as friends or family.
About people changing:
People don’t actually change, they just reveal who they are.
5. Its not as easy as it sounds:
All of the above-mentioned points may sound easy, but applying those in practical life is a whole different thing. It is very easy to write ignore that person, cut them off, but doing that actually takes a lot of courage, but then again you have to lose something to gain something, right?
At the end of the day, it is your life and you alone have to decide what to do with it. Sometimes you just get used to all this and you don’t care anymore, if you can do that without cutting them off, then it is also your choice.
Just always decide for yourself, don’t let anyone else do it for you, because if the decision goes south, you only have yourself to blame and no one else.
Try taking responsibility for your actions and you will see yourself having all the power. It is vital to ask for advice from someone you trust, but it is not necessary to actually do as advised. In the book ” THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A FU*K “, the author rephrases a quote ” With great power comes great responsibility ” to ” With great responsibility comes great power “.
Take responsibility for your decision to keep them close or not.